Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy bullshit

Why do doctors refuse HRT to menopausal women but hand them out to trans people?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Woodruff departs rehab outing after taking liner to elbow - MLB.com

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

‘Amazing Worlds of Science Fiction and Science Fact’ Review: An Education in Exoplanets - WSJ

I actually pay taxes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Final AIDS/LifeCycle Travels Through Santa Barbara County - Noozhawk

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Illinois coach Bret Bielema asked, so we answered: How the SEC has fared against Power Four in recent years - CBS Sports

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Two former Polygon writers are starting a new site - The Verge

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Panthers' winning formula goes missing in Stanley Cup Final Game 1 loss to Oilers - NHL.com

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

I don’t cotton to rapists

I am interested in gang stalking tactics. How do covert agents use street theater and false narratives to torment targeted individuals?

I see through liars

I can count

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Japanese queue for hours as rice shortage deepens - Financial Times

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Bettor banned for heckling Olympic star Thomas - ESPN

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane